Perimenopause and Misophonia: Why TF Does Everyone Chew So Loud?

Ah, perimenopause. That magical time in a woman’s life when her hormones decide to play a game of musical chairs, and the only prize is spontaneous sweating, inexplicable rage, and the superhuman ability to hear every single noise within a 10-mile radius. And if you’re one of the lucky ones dealing with misophonia on top of this rollercoaster? Well, congratulations! You now have the hearing prowess of a bat and the patience of a caffeine-deprived toddler.

The Chewing. Oh, The Chewing.

Let’s talk about the real enemy here: people who chew. Loudly. Softly. Somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter. If you have misophonia, the sound of someone masticating within earshot feels like nails on a chalkboard mixed with a jackhammer symphony. And when you throw perimenopausal rage into the mix? Well, let’s just say that the next person who crunches a carrot near you might need to enter the Witness Protection Program.

It’s not just chewing, either. Slurping, swallowing, breathing (seriously, why are they breathing so LOUDLY?!)—all of it feels like an assault on your very existence. Is it irrational? Maybe. Is it avoidable? Absolutely not, because apparently, people insist on eating and existing. Rude.

Why Is This Happening?!

Science, my friends. The hormonal shifts of perimenopause can make the nervous system more sensitive, which means those of us with misophonia are now experiencing sound triggers at an Olympic level. Estrogen fluctuations? Check. Increased stress response? Double check. The inability to tolerate your husband’s "casual" popcorn chewing? Oh, that’s a triple check.

Can Anything Be Done, or Are We Just Doomed?

Good news! You don’t have to live in a soundproof bunker forever. Here are some (semi) helpful solutions:

• Noise-Canceling Headphones: Your best friend. Your savior. The only thing standing between you and an assault charge at the family dinner table.

• Mindfulness and Deep Breathing: Yes, yes, I know. But hey, every second you spend deep breathing is a second you’re not throwing a dinner roll at someone’s head.

• Establish a "Quiet Eating Zone": This might not work, but it’s worth a shot. Just explain to your loved ones that they need to eat like ninjas or risk your wrath.

• Chew-friendly Snacks: Stock up on yogurt, smoothies, and anything else that won’t make a noise. If your partner insists on eating chips, consider hiding them in an undisclosed location.

Final Thoughts

Perimenopause and misophonia are a chaotic duo, but at least you’re not alone in this struggle. And if all else fails, just remember: one day, your hormones will settle, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll be able to tolerate the sound of chewing again. But until then? Headphones. Lots and lots of headphones.